the Essence of Trosly

Young people like myself who are finding their identity and trying to navigate the shifting tides that are our culture often put enormous amounts of hope that someone -a mentor, a pastor, a soul friend, a staff worker, spiritual director or guru- can help us to make sense of our confusion and show us a path where we can become whole, free and at peace. We look to people with wisdom, insight, life experience and spiritual sensitivity. The author Henri Nouwen suggests that these types of relationships often subtly or not so subtly become unhealthy. The receiver expects too much, and the giver wants to give too much. One person becomes dependent and the other becomes controlling. Instead, Nouwen points to a person with a developmental disability as potentially a qualified spiritual guide that has few of the risks associated with the previously descibed relationship. People with intellectual disabilities can offer the opportunity for others to connect themselves with their inner selves, their communities and their God on profound levels. This was what Jean Vanier soon discovered as he invited 2 people with intellectual disabilities to come live with him in community. Here at L'Arche Stratford, we often talk about people with disabilities as acting sort of as mirrors. In our daily interactions, they often to can reflect ourselves to us and the result isn't always pretty. When a core member at my house gets angry, I often become very irked as I realize his behaviour reflects some deep inner anger I have. But in his deep vulnerability this core member has also led me down the path that I hope will lead me to my healing. This I believe was the essense of Trosly, that people with disabilities can be spiritual guides to us. Many of my friends have read Jean Vanier and have learned from his ideas. It has been a deep blessing for me to come here even for just a short period of time, and receive an experiential taste of what Vanier writes.