Sunday, August 12, 2007

Drink Up, Dreamers, You're Running Out of Time

I have 4 days left of work, before another summer or work is over, and another few thousand dollars is made. In many ways this summer has been my hardest summer yet, but I've also seen fruitfulness and faithfulness in areas I would least expect. I come out of this summer understanding myself in a much more comprehensive way. I have learned that I am a pessimist and for some reason I like being one. I find it very very hard to have a bright outlook on the future, and will often downplay the importance of the good things in my life. However despite this, I have grown in self-esteem, I didn't suffer the huge lapse in it that I suffered last year. I do my job with the knowledge that I am as capable as anyone else in the factory. And I have come to see myself as a significant part of factory life for my co-workers. This summer has confirmed how fragile my mental stability is. If I was stuck in the situation I find myself in during the summer, I know I would not be able to survive. There is little to engage me and I end up just being tired all the time with no motivation. But, interspersed amongst this constant lies a few moments/days where I find relaxation, meaning and/or joy to an extent that I rarely experience during the rest of the year. 4 more days.

1 comment:

Belmondo Cafe said...

Sometimes I see a dystopian world; but then I see dimuinutive brushes of joy through people and I ponder: maybe life is aight, and the future need not be so black and sordid.
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